Hardest thing ever.

It's time. I need to do this. 

I have done this twice before, so I know it's possible and more importantly, it doesn't hurt her and will help her in the long run. Its just hard on this here mama that's all.

I need to let her cry it out and I know its going to be painful. 

Just bite the bullet and do it, I tell myself.

She is fed, changed, burped and super tired. No time like the present they say. Right?

 I rock her for a bit till I see those sweet tired eyes. I lay her in her crib still awake, and she starts in immediately. I talk softly to her and go stand in the door way where she cant see me. 

She cries and cries and cries and cries. (and cries)

Did I mention how hard this is on mamas?

I stand in the door way, thoughts a racing---

 Am I doing the right thing? Should I just wait a couple more days? Ill just rock her to sleep like I usually do, It would be easier for both of us. 

NO! I'm doing this.

She needs to learn to go to sleep on her own and my back hurts from her falling asleep on me every day (although holding a sleeping baby is so sweet) I know this is the right thing to do.  

So there I stand, pace, pray, sit, chew my fingernails, pace, pray, hope, pray.

I go in every 5-7 minutes to soothe her, and sit her up to make sure she doesn't have any burps, which she did from all that crying. Lay her back down, kiss her little face and go back to the door way and pray and pace, ect.... 

I finally lay her down on her tummy just for kicks and boom! -She's out in 3 minutes. 

Hallelujah!

Total time: 53 hours minutes. 

That was so. stinking. hard. 

This mama is exhausted and needs chocolate asap. 

 Whats the hardest thing that you have done lately?