Hardest thing ever.

It's time. I need to do this. 

I have done this twice before, so I know it's possible and more importantly, it doesn't hurt her and will help her in the long run. Its just hard on this here mama that's all.

I need to let her cry it out and I know its going to be painful. 

Just bite the bullet and do it, I tell myself.

She is fed, changed, burped and super tired. No time like the present they say. Right?

 I rock her for a bit till I see those sweet tired eyes. I lay her in her crib still awake, and she starts in immediately. I talk softly to her and go stand in the door way where she cant see me. 

She cries and cries and cries and cries. (and cries)

Did I mention how hard this is on mamas?

I stand in the door way, thoughts a racing---

 Am I doing the right thing? Should I just wait a couple more days? Ill just rock her to sleep like I usually do, It would be easier for both of us. 

NO! I'm doing this.

She needs to learn to go to sleep on her own and my back hurts from her falling asleep on me every day (although holding a sleeping baby is so sweet) I know this is the right thing to do.  

So there I stand, pace, pray, sit, chew my fingernails, pace, pray, hope, pray.

I go in every 5-7 minutes to soothe her, and sit her up to make sure she doesn't have any burps, which she did from all that crying. Lay her back down, kiss her little face and go back to the door way and pray and pace, ect.... 

I finally lay her down on her tummy just for kicks and boom! -She's out in 3 minutes. 

Hallelujah!

Total time: 53 hours minutes. 

That was so. stinking. hard. 

This mama is exhausted and needs chocolate asap. 

 Whats the hardest thing that you have done lately?

Our little honey girl and crazy new life with 3.

Its been a bit crazy around here. Especially gearing up for another move in the midst of it all. Finding a schedule that works for all of us has been the hardest part, and finding time to do 57 loads of laundry a day has been the most 'interesting' part of it. Ha! Wholly smokes I have never been this behind on my laundry in my life...

Speaking of the looming tour of laundry it's funny how you forget how much laundry such a teeny tiny person can make, or how many times you change your clothes in one hour, oooor how many times you get puked on, pooped on, or peed on during the day. And funny that when she smiles it makes it all worth while.

Most days I find myself still in my pajamas by 4pm. Ya, you totally think I'm kidding. I'm. So. Not. Kidding. I do scramble to put on some mascara, fix my hair, and look in the mirror before my hubby comes home though.  A girls gotta look good for her boyfriend right? 

And what a handsome boyfriend he is...especially with a baby on his shoulder.
It's no wonder why I keep having his babies. :)

The most amazing part of all of this is that yes, there have been hard times, yes, it's super tiring and yes, I get worn out and frazzled and sometimes yell.  But this little honey girl has brought this family that much closer. She is loved by all of us so so much. And her little smile is enough to melt your heart to pieces. Believe me, I tear up every time she does. So. Not. Kidding. Again. 
I blame the hormones.

Baby #3 35ish weeks

 We are on the home stretch and I am finally feeling great! A bit out of breath at times, but that's just how it goes right about now. I totally have the pregnant lady walk too which is always so funny to me. I have finally got my second wind and trying my darndest to get my batty list -Ill spare you by not posting it here- of things done (yes, super nesting at its finest) before Leah comes in just a few weeks! We can't wait to meet her! And Big Sis cant wait to see what color her hair is going to be. I'm pretty curious too. :)

Baby #3 - 33ish weeks

Oh goodness me.

The belly is taking over.
Doc wasn't kidding when she said Id be gaining a pound a week now.
Food of choice this pregnancy: thai food, slaw dogs, smoothies
and anything baked and chocolatey- I will totally be gaining a pound a week. 
Cause I can that's why.
 The kids love to feel their baby sissy move around and re-arrange her bedroom furniture. :)
I did Leahs first load of laundry with the kids help which was super fun and exciting but so strange.
I am having TONS of braxton hicks contractions.

I feel like it was just yesterday when I could still see my feet. 
I have wonderful memories of seeing my feet...
Speaking of feet, its gonna be a great day when flip flop weather is here and socks are no longer needed- for obvious reasons...

Its been a super busy couple months for us: 
We sold our car and got a splendid new Toyota Sienna.  
My husband passed his EPPP test and is finally getting licensed. (YAY!!) 
The awesome San Antonio trip.
The day-to-day momma duties of dentist and doc appointments, swimming and ballet lessons. 
 Our littlest lady making her appearance known- both with my obnoxious outie and obviously enjoyable trampoline of a bladder.
My husband job searching and interviewing for a few jobs -thank goodness- which means that there is a 99.9% chance we are going to be moving north again (Eeek!) this summer. This time with one 3 month old baby girl, a very energetic 3 year old little boy, and a almost 5 year old princess.  Deeeeep breeeeeaaath.

Prayers are totally welcome. 

Thank ya kindly. :)

Baby #3 - 30 weeks

Sorry about the flash, I was feeling lazy.

Not so sorry about the farmers tan on my arm. Ill take what I can get. 

The sunshine in San Antonio felt ah.Mazing.

Yes I am wearing the same purple shirt that I wore in this post, it's my favorite comfy and soft shirt, please don't judge me.
I have been noticing a lot of people looking at my outie lately. See it? Of course you do. I really don't blame them, I stare at it too. It is rather strange looking.
The funny thing about this picture is you can really get a sense of how off balance pregnant women are, not to mention how funny looking my legs look in this picture. They dont call me chicken legs for nothing. HA!

So a little about being 30 weeks pregnant...

I walk slower than usual.

I am clumsy.

I am off balance.

 I have lovely dreams of being able to sleep on my stomach again.

I have aches and pains in my legs.

I eat a lot. 

I can not see my toes anymore- when I am standing up straight that is.  

I am off balance.

 I couldn't do a sit up if I tried.

The painting of toenails is over and done with for now.

Pedicures by a 4 and a half here I come!

 I have mastered picking-up-of-things up with my toes. For reals. 

I eat a lot.

Only 10ish more weeks to go!

Baby #3 - 24 weeks

 Finally back on schedule!

Nothing that exciting going on right now except for forgetfulness and weird mustard and beer bubble cravings. And I'm totally not kidding. Mustard cravings like carazy...I wont even tell you how much mustard I put on my potato salad the other day so don't ask,  you would surely think I am a weirdo, and I might have to agree with you.

Forgetfulness example #1- I bought 2% milk at the store the other day. You might think this is not a big deal but we don't drink 2% milk. Ever. We are 1 percenters all the way. And somehow I came home with a gallon of 2%. Don't know how it happened either. Cant explain it. Bizarre behavior by yours truly.

Forgetfulness example #2- Last Sunday I forgot my daughters swim lesson. I have lesson reminders written down on my calender and on the dry erase board on my fridge. I just plum forgot. My pregnant brain was elsewhere evidently. Ergh.

Change of subject- I am so not-ever a fashonista, you can usually find me in ginormous sweat pants, or gaucho pants (I will love them till the day I die, don't care what the fashion police say about them, amen). I thought this little outfit was fun. Especially fun when I don't fit into 76 % of my pre-pregnancy clothing. On that note, so long lovely pre-pregnancy clothing, see you in 11 months and 8 days. Sighhhh.

 So. Just in case you were wondering...

-Camera necklace compliments of my lovely sister-in-law for Christmas. Ornamental things. Check it.

-Fun striped cardigan- Nordstrom.

-Tank top- A penny at Nordstrom. Yes. One. Penny. Sale rack. You cant make these things up...or I guess you could, but I'm no liar. Cross my heart. It was one of those awesome moments in life.

-Maternity jeans- Motherhood maternity.

Baby # 3 - 21 weeks

So here I am, a whoppin 21ish weeks in this picture. Which means... I am more than half way done!! Hooray!  I am 22 and 3 days today, so I'm about a weekish behind on updating. 

I absolutely love being pregnant right now - I feel great,and I love feeling each and every little kick and squirm. The best part is that the kiddos are really loving my tummy lately too. Everyday Big Sis tells me that my tummy is bigger and makes sure to say 'hi' to her tiny baby sister Leah. Bub does the same thing, and always makes sure to push my outie of a belly button back in while he is examining my ever-growing tummy. He reassures me that he is going to be 'so so so eeeeasyyyy wit dittle baby Zeah'. Cute stuff. :)

Baby # 3 - 17 weeks

I was 17 weeks in this picture. I am 18 weeks, 4 days today.

  We have our BIG ultrasound this Monday!! You know, the one where they tell you if you are having a boy or a girl and measure baby all up and stuff.  I have a teeeny, tiiiny hunch that baby is a girl, but I was also 100% sure that Big Sis was a boy and Bub was a girl. So I'm not going to promise you anything. I will say that it would definitely be nice to finally guess right the third time around. 
 Hopefully all is well and baby is healthy. Ill letcha know next week!I We are so excited!!!

Baby #3 - 15ish weeks

I thought I better get started on the baby pics, I'm falling behind already...

Fifteenish weeks.

I look like I'm about 24 weeks, I guess that's what happens when its your 3rd huh? Big sis was barely 7 lbs, Bub was 8 lbs so I wouldn't be that surprised with a 9 pounder this go around. Ok- maybe a tiny bit surprised. Bring it baby!

Here I am 4 days before Bub arrived.

Oh Lord have mercy. 

And Baby makes 5!

 

I wrapped this package up with the help of my daughter when my husband was out golfing on Sept. 11th. When he got home I told him that the kids and I picked him up something at the store.

Little did he know...

That two (yes I took two, who doesn't!) of these bad boys would be wrapped up inside. He initially thought that I wanted to just take the test, but then he flipped them over and saw the two happy lines. He looked up at me (teary eyed of course) and smiled and said "really?!".  "Really." I responded back, happy tears really rolling by then. "Wow!" Then some kisses and hugs and all that happy gushy stuff. :)

We are so thrilled and feel so very blessed. We can't wait to see who this little person is cooking up to be. May 17th can't come soon enough!

Suckie Free!

 My daughter was very attached to her "suckie" and that's why she was 3 when we eventually "sent them to the newborn babies in the hospital" but they are actually still in my pajama drawer. I couldn't get my self to trash them...don't tell her.

Little Man has been attached to "suckie" for quite some time now, and showing no signs of kicking the habit on his own...then I noticed a change in his teeth. Drastic times call for drastic measures....

I am going to miss these sweet post-nap-suckie-faces...sunglasses and all.

 I knew I didn't want him to have suckie when he was 3 and that means I had to start weaning him off it now, cause goodness knows how long it would take. So I cut a hole in one that already had a hole. Little at first, but smart little guy would turn it in his mouth so his tongue would cover the hole. On to my next next attempt: cut a cross in another suckie at the tip. (thanks to my friend Allison-who told me about this) I wanted him to still be able to have his suckie at night, to hold, and with the hole in it that's about all he can do. 

This was a very gradual process, about a month or so of little holes here and there and him telling me that it was broken. Not many tears, because it was just a fact, the suckie was broken and there was nothing he could do about it. It was sad because I wanted him to have that security he has had with suckie since he was a baby, but I also knew he would be fine without it.

Fast forward to last week, and he has thrown his suckies away on his own! One by one, day by day, because they are broken! I hate to trick the little guy, but it worked! And I am so proud. We have been suckie free ever since. 

Hooray!

Now to get him to use that potty...